Today is always better

Yeesh!

2011-10-07T08:25:00.000-07:00

its been 7 months ...

I started blogging because I was generally a sad and to scribbling all that gloom was my expression. I wanted to make my blog a bit happier.

In the past few months, I actually got REAL reasons to be sad. Couldn't write about them because they were super depressing. From one low to another. And when I wasn't sad, I had issues to solve ... but issues never go away. You get it now right?

I at one point wanted to just close this vestigial blog, I procrastinated. Now I'm getting subtle spiritual(I think) nudges to persist. Plus Twitter, Tumblr and Google+ don't encourage me to come on here.

The Impending attack : How to Survive!

2011-02-09T09:01:00.000-08:00

Hey! Its been ages. Lost the zeal to write, to do anything, really.
Promised a friend I'd write. I opened up a new post countless times before this, just always closed it before writing anything.

So without further ado lets get back to why I'm here.

Preparation? you ask
Well preparation for vals day of course.

Allow me to tell you about someone. Someone I wanted to val. Not just on the 14th of February but for many months before and after. The kind of person that'll make me deny writing last year's "Vals post". The person I'm stupid for. Yada yada...
Anyway turns out he ... (hahahahaha <--- That would have been sooo funny)
Anyway turns out she is in love with someone else. Now I don't know how to make a girl fall in love, as in real love o, if I did, I'd try. If anyone has real insight, leave a comment. As for that whole being yourself crap, I'm as ME as I can get when I'm with her. The end!?! Besides the point!

The way I see it the valentine bug is akin to the T-virus. Instead of zombies running around yelling Brains!!! and eating them, you get zombies running around chanting Hearts!!! and eating them too(whether in the form of chocolates or underwear! <-- true story!).

Valentines day this year is the beginning of the end of the world. There is an infection going around and you better be ready. Now some people have caught it and have still made plans to make their lives a little bit better. Some are going away on long weekend trips, getaways and what not, to maintain sanity. Like I always say "if you find that you have been infected with a " Those that have caught the bug and are unable to plan trips to their sanity sanctuary are probably going to eat their hearts out.

There are those who are immune, like yours truly, that are adept survivors of Zombie plagues. My plan is to gather a weeks worth of food, alcohol, anime and series(Really -__-! what did you expect!) and weather the storm!. Or go get tail in some neighboring state, you always need a plan B.

Now if you are Not infected and are thinking of just blending in with the crowd, Don't. Big mistake! I suggest you find an anti-vals center, hang with the sane group of people and wait it out. And if after a week, the heart hysteria has not passed, we are all doomed anyway.

*Infected people with plans I don't mind hearing all about them, I'm sure most of them are wonderful.

*Infected people without plans - Don't complain that just makes you look bitter.

*Non Infected peeps - If you have any suggestions on making that weekend better pls share, we could even join resources.

There are no rules.

2010-09-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

There really are no rules...
there are levels,
to ascend to the new level,
you must become master of the previous one,
mastering a level gives you strategic power over it,
so naturally you have power over those in the "Lesser" levels.

There are really no rules...
everybody was born without priviledges,
every level has its privileges,
the higher the level, the more/better the privileges,
the better the privilege, the bigger your greed,
the bigger your greed, the less willing you are to help others advance to your level,
cos more people at your level means a harder time ascending to the next.

There really is no law...
there are men,
there are men who have acquired privileges, power, levels,
these men create consequences for those in the lower levels,
there are men at the highest level,
so naturally there are those at levels without consequences.

There is really no law...
there are men at the highest level,
these men create the consequences,
these men make the rules,
these men control the law,
these men are the law.

Everybody wants to do just whatever they want, without consequences.
Everybody wants to be privileged.
Everybody wants power.
Everybody wants to get to the highest level.
Everybody is someone's law.

P.S. Except that first guy...

Black Tuesday

2010-07-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

Monday the 28^th of June 2010 ... she walked in the door and told me to make her something to eat. I warmed some beans for her and served her she ate. Later that night, she went to see the doctor. She came back with the result of her blood test, which indicated only malaria, and a prescription for something. I was supposed to go with her to the pharmacy, I waited. I asked her sometime later to hand me the prescription and let me go myself to the pharmacy but she brushed it off saying it was late and that first thing in the morning we’ll get the drugs.

The next morning I woke up to the hysterical call of me and my brother’s name by my dad. The despair in his voice gave me a gut wrenching feeling I have only felt a few times in my life before. He said “it’s your mother” and my soul was shrouded by bleakness, my thoughts shattered by fear. I rushed in to the room and saw her gasping for air... time paused... he said to me “switch on the gen”, to my brother “get the doctor”. Time was choppy... I was at the back door, fumbling with the keys, I exhaled to calm down... I was spilling petrol in my attempt to fuel the generator... I was rushing back into her room.

I watched as she hurled into a bowl I held up for her while he supported her sitting position from her back. I watched her suffer through a couple of violent body spasms that each seemed to go on forever and simultaneously feel longer than the last. I held her hands tight, trying to say a million things with that one gesture... It’ll be okay... you can get through this... not you, HE wouldn’t let anything happen to you... I could only sit and hope she got some of it.

The spasms stopped, she was able to speak lightly now. She said “I want to lie down”. He was reluctant, he said “it is better when you sit up”. She insisted, we agreed, she started to sleep. We could hear sleep sounds coming for her while we waited, time frozen with hope, anxiety, dread and faith, for the doctor to come.

She was quiet, I reached out and wrapped my fingers round her ankle... I waited... no bump under her skin or through her veins... ‘What do I know, am I a doctor? I am probably too tense to even feel anything’. Time was choppy again... They stormed in with the drip and things. The doctor went to the side of her bed... i went to the other side... he checked her heartbeat... then rolled her off her side on her back... he opened her eyelids and checked the one on his side... he shifted the beam into her other eye, the one next to me... her pupils ... my mother was dead.

Everything stopped, time stopped. My mind, my soul stopped. I was stunned ... i still am. So much that I haven’t cried... yet. I took her to the morgue that day and after a time I was afraid I was not human. That the evil I thought was lurking deep inside me wasn’t really that deep. I was afraid I was a monster. But after a while I realised that I was not grieving because of the interruptions that will come. Well wishers and sympathizers, with well meaning hearts, giving the same speeches over and over again. I think I just want to be through with the burial and lock myself in and cry for days. The funeral is on the 16^th ... two more days for me to be strong.

They say... “God knows best” and then they say “We can’t question God”. So they expect me not to question the one with all the answers? I will question Him. I know He can choose not to answer me, but I expect Him to, even if it takes years. Who knows it might be a long time before I comprehend what has happened, or what He tells me, but I still need to know. If not that feeling of insignificance, equating my existence with that of a paltry amoeba, will linger somewhere in my subconscious. Because if all I could do was stare as her life force left her body, then...

Update

2010-05-02T01:25:00.000-07:00

So I left for a while ... Again
The job was not that easy to leave after all. They kept bribing me with unseen incentives that where always just out of reach.

The partying was harder to leave... my group of friends were awesome and I miss them most.
Started reading again... for another small exam... but like everything else in my life ... I blow it out of proportion ... or I underplay its importance till it becomes a real problem. I'm totally blowing the exam thing outta proportion... but its the first step to the Bigger and Harder exams I really need ... so underplaying it will seriously wound my career.

I miss my friends but had to bail town to lay the foundations of my independent life.
I miss the trips we had... and our usual paroles ... miss Abuja small.
Don't miss the job... never really liked it. Left their asses immediately I discovered it was never going to be worth it.

So this seems to be one of those points in life where a new phase starts... lets see what happens from now on.

Cross my chest.

2010-03-07T16:49:00.000-08:00

Mehn! It's been a minute! No be small thing ...
First of all let me just say I'm sorry for neglecting you ...
I've been on a drinking, partying spree ... and haven't even been online in like two weeks!!!
I got a job and I've been busy trying to enhance the company or enjoy the company of friends ... so its like work, friends, work, drinks, work, clubs, work, vows of celibacy!
So in like one week I'll finaly decide if the job is worth it or if I'm bailing on their asses... but for now I'll stick around.
And yeah I'll be here more often, Promise... Cross my chest (there is no heart in there!).
Later y'all!

P.s. Please who can introduce me to Keri Hilson. I Like!!!

The Vals post.

2010-02-13T11:29:00.000-08:00

..................................................................................................................................
Okay, you know those deep and analytical posts on love... This is NOT one.

...................................................................................................................................

First lemme just say that I love LOVE! And I'll tell you why.
I'm a very indulgent person, and I am also very open-minded, that is why I can say I'm indulgent.
Now my acceptance of my excesses is what makes my indulgence seem controlled ... I accept when I've indulged enough.
Now naturally I also want to see others to drop their falsities and do what they want to deep down inside.
This is why I like love... it is the most indulgent human emotion. Every human deep down wants to feel love and love in return. People like me say shit like ... love sucks... love is masochistic.... Love will kill you, which are all true but so will alcohol, cigarettes and a bunch of other bullshit we enjoy everyday(cough*coke*ing).

It is an indulgent emotion because people get lost in it... it becomes all they live for. It is the most stupid emotion i.e It is the only emotion that uses less intellect than anger. I've seen hateful people scheme because they want to hurt their enemies ... I haven't seen a thinking man in love.
It is an indulgence because you need no reason and usually have none. The reasons you do have are not really good... and deep down you don't know why you do it.

Q: Why do you drink/smoke/have indiscriminate sex/Love?
A: to stay warm.
A: to stay awake
A: to go to sleep
A: It makes you happy

........................................................................................................................................................................
I'm not going to act like those self righteous bastards that tell you everything making you happy is BAD.

........................................................................................................................................................................

No I am an advocate of happiness I say go out do what makes you happy... It is okay to be Happy.
It is okay to leaves school and elope with that sweetheart of yours and 10 years later be living in a trailer ... at least you'll have love.
It is okay to send your life savings to your new found love in South America so she can pay off her debt, and fly and come to be with you... at least you gave love a chance ... and I'm sure if given the opportunity, you'll do it again.
It is Okay to donate your heart to the person you met two weeks ago and are sure without a doubt is your one true love... at least your love will live on in her new found heart.

This is Darkneo saying to the world: Love like there is no tomorrow.
Love like there is no yesterday.
Live for love.
Die for love.
............................................................................................................................................
To truly love and love truly, you must use all your heart and none of your brain.
............................................................................................................................................
Pictures by Darkneo!

About Me.

2010-01-23T21:17:00.000-08:00

You know those introductory posts where the person narrates his life story and aspirations with incredible detail, this is not one of them.

Okay this is the 3rd most mind boggling topic in the world to me.
1) What is the meaning of life?
2) Why are humans destined to make themselves/others miserable?
3) Who am I?
4) What do women want? (and I even know the answer to this one = EVERYTHING)

When I get into an interview, all is dandy till the Interviewer says : "So who is 9janeo"
What kind of question is that
The first answer in my head is who the fcuk are YOU. I just hate the question.
The truth is I feel like I am never who I say I am, I may have an idea but I really don't know.

So please allow me to break this post into two,
Who I think I am
who I say I am

Who I say I am
No long thing, I just list
I am a laid back and easy going.
I am down to earth and humble.
I don't like fighting or confrontation.
I am very quiet.
I love having fun.
Yada yada....

Who I think I am
I am lazy. No food for the lazy man? ... you must be blind... the people that work the hardest in this life are the hungriest. Take some CEO for example who is driven to the office at 5am and sometimes stays there overnight (bear in mind his office has an A.C and he got breakfast, lunch and ordered dinner). Then take the laborer that works 5hrs non stop lifting bricks in the sun and has to trek to his house to give his wife the pittance he just made and is begging for 5 more hours of work just to make more money.

I am actually very insecure. This tends to rub of on people as humility or shyness. But still in a very weird way I am proud... I feel that people don't get me cause well I'm too special to be understood.

I think I'm a fucking genius... even though I try my best not to imply it in any way ... because human beings will want to test you. My hypothetical "niceness" is not as a result of conscious effort by me.

I am actually really quiet, because I learned at an early age that when you say the shit in your mind to somebody, you piss them off. And because I am lazy in the first place I don't have the time and energy to be thinking up socially acceptable ways of using the words I went to school to learn.

I was raised in religion but deep down I feel like there is no hereafter and so I try to achieve all I can in this life, be it in partying or in research or in contributing for the next generation... this thought is what got me through school. That one day I'm going to program the first thinking robot and be solely responsible for the annihilation of the scourge of this planet that is the human race

P.s. if you have not picked it up by now... I have lost faith in the human nature.

There is another angle to who I am : Who people think I am.
This I think is the most accurate description of a person.
Don't give me that bullshit about how you shouldn't listen to people's opinions about you. The truth is you should, not to a single person, listen to many, but take a consensus. If 6 different people with no relations tell you you are rude, then you are rude. The truth is if you can get 20 different people to HONESTLY write about you, not just friends and you take the common parts out, I think you will find an almost accurate description of who you are.

We are partial/unjust beings... think about how objective you REALLY are about yourself... and you'll still be biased in that answer.

Now I know some pshycologists and possibly psychiatrists will want to shed light on my mental condition. I also know that there are those who claim to have "discovered" themselves since they were 18 ... please feel free to express your own thoughts.

What ...yay!

2010-01-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

Once agsain don't have a title... Whatever the title is was formed after the post. I'm supposed to be working on getting into school for my masters.... but somehow I find myself doing all the same shit again! Getting wasted over and over agian... matter of fact, I'm more motivated to get a job more than ever before! Okay I have only eating indomie and cake this year, but I'm so..... I forgot what I wanted to say. Oh yeah ... I'm so lazy I want to get a job to keep this lifestyle up ... or I'd have to go to school and read instead of partying ... alot.
Hey how do you get titles.... seriously?
1. Do you form it in the middle of writing your post?
2. Do you write the post around the title?
E.G think up a rally cool phrase and write a post around it!
3. Do you write a really good post and come up with a "Cool" name for it?

seriously I need help blogging
I don't even know why I started this blog!??!??!!!!

P.s Coming up next the post "About me" you never had!!!
I realised most blogs start with the intros of the writers ... mine started the way it has always been..... with stories of random gibberish from me you don't not even understand

The Grinch that rocked christmas... and new year!.

2009-12-22T15:00:00.001-08:00

Okay first of all lemme just say that Avatar was the shigaedee!
I enjoyed every bit of the movie from top to bottom!
At the end of the movie, just before the credits my brother got a text from my mum telling him our aunt, her elder sister just died. I'm in a really sucky mood right now ... this was not the way I planned to meet my cousins anytime soon ... in a burial! I feel like locking myself up in a black box and listening to very heavy death metal music ... but that won't solve anything. I've always had issues with death ... as in when I was still very young it was a foreign concept to me, death, but as I kept growing older it kept growing closer. Look at me already delving into the intricacies of anti-life.

So Christmas and new year has sucked the last seven years or so for me. I don't even remember any of them ... its that bad. Anyways I'm tired of sucky holiday so I am going to rocks this one die! We are supposed to spend at least Christmas with the whole family present. And my parents like going to "remote" places to spend their holidays. So if it is as bad as I anticipate this year, I will just go out buy some liquor, come back home and watch "Just friends" and "I love you man" over and over again!

Next year ba!?! I am going celibate walahi! Women, I no do again... I'm chasing money and book... strictly. I have like ten certifications on my mind and I should do at least three before my birthday next year in July! So face book and money ... the way it is supposed to be.

So even though this looks to be an "Unchristmassy Christmas" in NEO's words and I feel like a Grinch with very strong urges to introduce santa's beard to a shotgun, I am still going to rock these times. You might hear my tale ... the tale of the Grinch that rocked Christmas.

So people make sure you have a very happy new year!

Something has happened

2009-12-16T04:46:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine came to stay with me from Lagos and brought with him the las-gidi ginger.
He didn't even have to persuade me too much. All he had to do was say Choc-city, M.I, Kevin Pam, Chicks.... and I was already dressing up.
We went to the Aqua place in Sheraton after our rendezvous with two of our guys.
Now some advice from me ... when you consider yourself an average dancer, don't go to a party with three very good dancers, they will SHAME you.
So I danced for a while, drank very little compared to the quantity I average on my night outings.
Then met one fine chick with cute rabbit teeth ... I harassed her and gave her my number ... I didn't collect her own because If I had brought out my phone, She would have broken it off with me before any thing started.
So what happened yesterday? I Had fun ... and finally decided to get a new phone again.

ps. I am attempting to blog more... hence the empty post!

Just So you Know!

2009-12-13T14:56:00.001-08:00

I'm alive and well ...thanks for asking.
Have not been in the happy mood.
I have not written any post because I am trying not to write sad, seemingly depressing posts anymore.
Not many exciting things have happened to me lately.
Passed the exam I was reading for.
Chased women for a while.
And for the first time I actually discerned when a girl was asking me out. Well to be honest she was more forward with me than I have ever been with any girl I had an interest in.
I just was never able to pick up on small cues of interest (verbal or even physical) being dropped by interested ladies. They have to be overt flirts.
In fact I almost always realize when its too late. Months after it will just hit me "Oh! so she liked me ?".

I was thinking of going public, because many where going private, but I certainly convinced myself otherwise ... on account of all the relationships I mentioned in my blog that are so loosely coded ... and all the horrible gruesome deaths that could be inflicted on me by participants in said relations.

P.s. If you know who I am please keep quiet! Nobody likes a tattletale. JUST SO YOU KNOW!

I Woke Up!!!

2009-10-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

I woke up, it was dark, I saw him staring back at me with murderous intent.
I took a step towards him
At this point I am staring directly into enraged dark eyes
Eyes owned by an eidolon of my other self
I could feel it, the rage the anger the hatred
Confused by his aura, I asked him "why are you so angry?"

He glared back and all he said was "you had no right!!!"
I needed an explanation and decided to use his emotions to get it.
I smiled and with an mild voice I said "of course I did, I had every right"
It worked. He exploded "What do you mean!!! I was almost done, you were all mine, you had almost given up!!!"
He took a deep breath then said "you know we are going to keep trying right!?!, and one day one of us will get you."

"What do you mean???"

"well, you managed to push me out just before I did my job, but it does not matter because even though you have almost total control right now, some of my friends are still in there trying, and many are out here looking for a way in! and we wont stop trying!!"

He moved his dark form ever so slightly to the right and behind him I saw a row of dark specters much like himself stretch beyond my view.
He raised his chin in a quick gesture, making me aware of someone behind me, making me spin to face another silhouette smiling at me.

"He is right you know!?!"
I don't know why but his smile disturbed me, there were a thousand 'more important' questions in my mind but I still I asked "what are you smiling for"
The smile changed to a dark laugh then he said
"I'm Pride!!!" "I always smile ... unlike our friend there" he pointed, I didn't have to turn around to know who he was pointing at.
"Excuse his rudeness, he is just tired of the tango ... you see both of you have fought for control since the beginning and apparently you fight him more than the rest of us because you consider him your worst enemy...He is depression"

"What does he want, what do YOU want?"

"We want to give you character! right now you are pure, unmodified, without us you'll be so ordinary.... we give you personality, Character ... without us you are nothing". He started to laugh the same dark laugh as before. Then he seemingly shifted.

I could see behind him the same unending queue of dark specters. This time I knew they were qualities and then I remembered what depression said: "some of my friends are still in there trying". Some I had, some I didn't .... some were disposable, some were attainable.
The conceited laughter filled my head.

I WOKE UP!

I'm on A long thing!

2009-09-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

Omo I've been away from blogsville so long its like I'm an immigrant. Lemme sha say sorry make una no vex I've been on along thing. Some kinda self reformation to reduce my indifference and increase my attention span. In fact the truth is I get tired of everything all the time. So this post is basucally just to keep my blog warm.

As a big brother we all know it is my job to description to bug my sis ... and I usually find the weirdest ways to do it.
Recently I got this open wound in the middle of my left palm (self inflicted, dont ask) and I had to wash using bleach then a thought hit me. I walked directly to my sister who was watching TV, looked at her with a candid face and asked her very seriously ....
.... what do you think will happen to me if bleach gets into my bloodstream?, without waiting for her to answer I asked again this time with a worried face ... What if I become invisible!!! Serious! stop laughing What If it decolourises me then I become grayscale or worse Colourless!!!.

Later that day I was helping my dad in his fish farm then it came again! I ran back to my sister again I had to share this revelation quick.
I called her attention, she paid it. With a very franctic look on my face I asked
What happens if fish food gets into my bloodstream?
Gettout!!!! Leave me alone
Seriously it is not a joking matter! What if fish all of a sudden get drawn towards me or I find out I can communicate with Aquaculture because I'm in sync with their base survival instict "the need for food"
It is like you don't have anything to do better stop disturbing me!

Then I talk to myself.... you know the type when your inner self talks to you and you listen/talkback ... well not only that kind. Also the kind of self talk where two or more voices are talking about two or more things in your head and you are stuck hearing the noise like cafeteria chatter! You know .... common admit it .... ur leaving me out here to dry [akward laugh...]

Okay this day I was walking to the supermarket when this conversation started
Damn it I don't feel like walking
Lookachyoo!!! If you had gottten your liscence since would you be walking now?
Idiot would you shut up even with my liscence would you r fear let me drive in this mad town?
Lazy maga! you want to blame it on me now ba?
Would two of you shut up I'm trying to focus on avoiding this guy walking behind me he looks shifty
paranoid motherfucker!
MYFRIEND!!! berra get your shit together
Shut up!!! ah ah [out loud] while shaking my head
I could swear I still heard some disapproving mumurs in my head before it went silent.
Then the shifty guy walking behind me crossed to the otherside of the road!

Once again my dear Blogaria abeg no vex!!! I'm still on a long thing. It will take a while but ... I'll be back!!
ps had malaria a while back.
Your boy 9janeo.

The Edge Of Norm

2009-08-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

Recently life had been bumping him around
He had fought but kept getting knocked down
he did some soul searching. He found nothing but a gray bordering on blackness - a colorless soul. He realized he made himself this way pushing everyone away so frequently it had become basic instinct. The only reason he was not completely black inside was because he still related with human beings, the most basic superficial beneficial relationships possible.

People-relations meant emotions, emotions were a distraction, when distracted he found himself fighting, struggling with 99% of the worlds population. That's the reason he learnt to stand at the edge of norm. Because only here at the brink of unconventionality will you notice
how absurd the norm actually is
how the morally derelict exile the physically derelict
how the morally wealthy worship the physically wealthy

He remembered why he lived at the border of expected function, why he stood at quietly watching. Watching the crowd move haphazardly around the center that was the utopia it was so desperately seeking. He stood outside these circles they formed to gradually gain the virtues and vices he needed to cut through them and surpass them all.

That is why he does it, when he is there the perspective is good. From that vantage point he can see all the "surprises" he needs to prepare for. He stood up dusted himself off, cut all emotional ties he recently formed with these ... people, and walked quietly to the edge of norm.

The Grading System!

2009-08-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

Well I'm going to explain in this post how I grade chicks.
I know somebody will start feeling deep and talk about how we are all equal and BS, but the truth is we all do it. That's what first impressions are .... and many times you have been wrong with your 1st impressions of somebody.
We see someone, we size the person up. Its nothing personal. It guides us towards who we unconsciously think is better for us.

Points
Long hair .... 0.5
Almond/cat/fish shaped eyes ... 0.5
Older (as in >5yrs) ... 1 point
Drink .... 1 point
Like rock/Eminem ... 1 point
like black ... 1 point
Play (video)games .... 1point
Likes superheroes(or can hold a conversation about them) .... 1 point
Can sing ... 1 point
Can Skate ... 1 point
Can play the guitar ... 2 points
Gymnast ... 2 points
Namesake (If you by any chance have one of my nicknames) ... 2 points
Hates Miley Cyrus ... 2 points
Snooty ... -2 points
Dumb .... -2
Lacking humor(or a sense of it) ... -2.5

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN! Where a ten is unattainable unless your a greek goddess or from the Marvel/DC universe
In groups Everybody starts as a 5, then I give points as time flies.
When I'm bored or tired of chicks around me new ones start at a nine then I deduct points.
I still dont know all the reasons I add or deduct points but if I knew that then there I would know exactly who I want ... that's no fun!

Now that you know I'm such a Geek you are probably thinking this is shallow right!?! But we all are. Everybody has their own kind of grading system consciously/unconsciously.

He has Killed me oh!

2009-08-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

Maybe they want to die! Somebody wants to die!
Oboy I know I just appointed it my song of the week but FCUK the sound of silence, This is my song of the month!
Now usually I'm off "getting" the new slipknot song or metallica's new album or something like that but I stumbled on M.I's Somebody wants to die. And walahi he killed me.
I will never crash I'm no Sosoliso!
WTF!

Okay So I remember going to see one of my graphic designer friends about two weeks ago for us to work on my new complimentary cards. It turned out that he was having a small shindig happenning, drinks music his friends.

The only way you're cold is your career's a kedava

He had about 14 guys over, I was already familiar with 3 of them, 2 same school, 1 I had met before. Then there was this group of chicks, they formed a little gist group, I was busy with the Xbox all this while. I left the game alone to get my glass some more drink .wink. Then there she was, [.insert heavenly song here.] Playing halo3.

I'm a plane I'm a rocket I'm an eagle
And its plane how I rock the deasert Eagle

Now lets get this clear being a shy guy I noticed her more than the others and immediately bumped her one point above the others. And the way to a geek's heart (mine) is through a game console. I move in and tell her to take cover till her energy sheild rises back up. She does it, she was new to Halo but not to the xbox controls. I ask her wether she plays, she says "Yeah, dont you have GTA" I say no, then bump her up another point.(9janeo's grading system!)

I'm so Rick Ross, I boss like Hugo

When I was bout to leave I walked up and asked her name she told me, then I asked for a number. I told her that I wudnt mind getting together with her to game sometime and that I thought she was awesome. She smiled (it was a bit cocky) and said "I don't have a phone, but put your number in my friends phone" pointing to the chick. At this point the geek in me quickly retreated sensing rejection. I turned to her friend and asked boldly and with authority streching out my hand "where is your phone?". Her friend immediately went into defensive mode and started talking in part to me in part to her "but ". "she's going back"."ur'e going back" gibberish gibberish. I immediately tagged her a Big Itch! I was not ready to sratch!
Looked at gamer chick took out my old workplace complimentary card and gave it to her. "Call me" I said with a smile. As a marketer I learned this persistence and never to take NO for an answer better to have a maybe.

I got that new flo!
I'm like a blue fro!
I'm on your mind but so unusual You know

Rationality slapped me immediately I stepped out of the house. What is wrong with you!. Can't you game with a chick without jumpng on her!?!. Why did you even talk to them SIHT!?! You will be made fool of! You will look like a real asshole! Is she even up to 18? FCUK up!

They standing way too close these niggers Homo

Then like two weeks later I get one missed call from a number. This number is so weird I immediately think the number is from cotonou seriously. I call
Helloooo!
ehm...
Yeah!?! (At this point i'm thinking, well you should explain yourself)
Ehm you gave me your card
Gamer girl!
yep gamer girl
whats up now?
cool
what are you up to
Nothing i'm on a break, its boring sha but I have to read
Read for what
well something very important
well nowadays everybody has to read, i'm reading too, we all are.
.........
Okay i'd holla at you later na!
Alright bye.

So obviously she was bored and found my card. Or maybe she just got her new phone because the number was weird. It was one of those new MTN numbers 081.... I could have sworn it was from another country. And yes I don't know what is happening in the world I've been in my shell.

Maybe i'm overthinking it. What do you think

ps M.I Abaga is the man. Just so you know!
red : me
blue : gamer chick
Green : M.I
I tried to censor!

Song of the week

2009-08-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

Simon and Garfunkel : SOUND OF SILENCE

Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.

I fell in love with this song when I heard Used in the movie "Bobby"
It was also used in "The watchmen"

P.S I've just not gotten anything to write about ... yet.

Nocturnal!

2009-08-09T23:39:00.000-07:00

I nicknamed myself nocturnal when I was my second year.
This was due to the fact I always slept during the day/ in class and was never asleep througout the night. The habit stuck! Up until to day i have to play soft rock and will myself to sleep by counting back from hundred in all the languages I know.
Anyways I didn't sleep well last night and I have a class in an hour and I think I'm going to mix coffee and red bull bcos even well rested that class is still a challenge for me!
Shout out to Leggy on her 5oth!!!

This thing is not easy for everybody so we should keep encouraging each other!
I cant talk too much i'm going to look for caffeine and sugar. L8er blogsville!

Guess who's Bizack!

2009-08-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

Guess who is Bizzack
It's my boy Jack
We have not seen in a while
I missed him making me smile
He has been here all week
And its no more bleak
I went to pick him up on my Birthday
Damn this is sounding so gay
He made me laugh with our secret jokes
The already happy moments, he stokes
Okay I can no longer rhyme
Maybe just one more line

So my birthday was just there. I got liquor and cake, threw out a couple of late invites via text messages and waited. Most of my friends were in school working all night or out of the state. But she came ...She is kinda like a family friend but the last time we saw about three months ago we made out. So it was just me and her after finishing an average of 3 cans of smirnoff each dancing to Wande Coal. I gave her my incomplete fourth can to help me and she did.
Then she got a call, some dude was coming to pick her up, it was not my business so I did not ask, but from her reaction she did not seem too thrilled to go, then again what do I know. She stood up to go and asked if her breath smelled of alcohol. I don't know if that was a cue or it was me being over sharp but.... I said "I cant tell by using my nose but there is another method" then I slowly moved towards her. Me being the poster child for rejection, 90% of me was expecting her to push me away, 5% of me was expecting a slap .... but being the "Self Destructive" individual that Sir Scribbles II swears I am I went with my 5% chance of success. I don't know why I felt like this even though we had snogged b4 I guess deep down I was thinking "She is like way older than you so she probably just want to do this for today and it never going to happen again"... I'm a cynic like that!

Anyway we had the best goodnight/alcohol test kiss ever ... she seemed to be a little bit more carried away by it than I thought she'd be. I pulled away and said no traces of alcohol or at least it does not show. Three days later Jack and I are just chilling thinking of new ways to get on Robby Scribbles nerves when I get a call
She - Are you at home
*static* I hang up and call back
Me - U were saying
She - are you at home
Me- yep
She - i'm coming
Me - Kay l8er!
15 mins later knock knock
she spend the first thirty minute talking with my bro in his room then later comes to my room. We had a very interesting conversation ... cant remember what it was ... then Its On!.
Halfway into the session she asks
- how did we get here
reluctant I ask
Me - Where, The bed or the situation where we both like this!
I thought the questions would come later
She - the second one
Me - Don't know and really don't care right now
The session continues without anymore questions she must be saving them.

Anyways my friend Jack Daniels will be going away again for a while seeing as I am starting classes today and need to keep my head clear for most of the weekdays in the next 6 weeks.

Ps. Chari was right about that randomizing ish...

Whats the point.

2009-07-30T14:46:00.001-07:00

He had felt this way before, lying face down not trying to fight the quiet tears running down his face. In this state he thought a lot about the fucked up world he lived in. He knew there were happier people in the world that had less than half of what he could boast of .... this made him feel worse... a tinge of guilt that he was wallowing when he had so much to be happy about. But he had no Idea how people could ignore the messed up conundrum that is their life.
He had so much he wanted to do, he had failed in so many things and ways. Even if he succeeded it will all come to a grinding halt with his imminent demise. Aware that there are times that the world is a happy place and maybe it is worth living for these times he still lay there shedding these tears not entirely for himself but also for those suffering souls living somewhere in a gutter of utter insignificance and nothingness the rest of the world passing by in make believe obliviousness. How can they just prosper ignoring and many times causing rifts of misery to wash over those less capable.
FINE they worked to achieve their present status ... it does not make it right. His face leaked because most in the position to change the situation didn't they just gave a little to feel less guilty that they had so much. He knew it would not change, he was always destined to succeed, he knew he would become one of them when he achieved destiny. And now his consideration of those suffering souls out there in the world made him realize that when he is happy he is happy for himself only. When he wants to end it all he is being entirely selfish in his decision.
Of course still crying he realised this world is fucked up because he does not give a shit about it and it does not give a shit about him. This is what drives us to achieve so moch against all odds, but we end up celebrating alone like we were from the start. What made him fall deeper into this blackhole he formed around himself was the fact that he'd always be too much of acoward to do anything, wether end it or change it. His life, this life was fucked, he wiped his tears away and feigned ignorance to carry on, just like everyone else.

Extract from Slip Out The Back - Fort Minor
I don't need to tell you that life isn't fair
it doesn't care
It arbitrarily cuts off your air
And like you
I want someone to say its okay.....

Nothing matters

2009-07-25T03:06:00.000-07:00

So you can probably tell from my blogs that almost nothing has been going on in my life recently.
I AM BROKE, RUINED, BANKRUPT, PENNILESS, OVERDRAWN. I felt 1 word won't explain the magnanimity of the situation.
I stopped working about a month ago around the time I last took alcohol or got laid.
I have been mostly indoors.
I registered for classes due to start on the 3rd of next month
My birthday is on the 29th of this month.
I lost my replacement phone last week.
I haven't been called for a job after my phone interview.
And I hate the world again.
I am back to my Hard rock and Metal phase, all this happy music is not working for me right now.
I am thinking removing all colour from my wardrobe and buying everything in black.
And in an effort to stir things up in my life again I decided to get in touch with an old lady friend I have not seen for over 2 years and arrange a meeting today. Now I cant sleep because I'm hoping it goes well and everything clicks like when she was in school. Come to think of it I always liked her and I cant help but think if she had stayed in my school I would not have ended up in the crappiest relationship of my life.
And no matter how tomorrow ends .... I tried.

P.s I miss inebriation.

Nothing matters

2009-07-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

2009-07-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

We all travelled in the same car to the state capital, conversating about insubstantial meaningless topics, to collect our NYSC certificates. We got there, I had no trouble receiving mine with an epiphany.
I realised at that instance that I had built, in this 1 year period platonic relationships disgused as comradery, we all did.
I watched these benefficial relationships crumble into the nothings we had tried to portray as deep reaching emotionally
driven friendships. As we said our goodbyes I knew, that we would probably never meet again and we would definitely not try to keep in touch. But you never know right its a small world.
But I guess thats just what relationships are ... its all about what we can get and people have different need.Believe me when I say some people just want to give, some just want to take, some want to be adored, some maybe all human beings want to be loved and some want to be hated.
Yeah maybe those that want to be hated want it because of the attention that comes with it .... have you ever been in a close space with an enemy? you cant keep ur eyes off each other.LOL.
Maybe those that want to be adored need it to reassure themselves of their beauty or whateva.
Maybe those that give endlessly just feel they have too much to give and maybe they actually like seeing people happy!
I'm pretty sure i'm getting this analysis wrong and I would not mind somebody bringing these issues to light for me, I think I'm an emotional infant.
But what I'm sure of is that there is something to be gained/lost in every relationship ... even sometimes when you dont get to give as much as you want, it hurts. thank heavens i've never been the giving type. But in light of this revelation I posit that the best relationships are those in which all parties know what they want to get and have something to offer in return. It is not always easy to know what you want but in those rear ocassions when you do, it would be so easy to walk up to some1 and say "I know you want ...., I want **** and I can give you .... lets hook up!". BUT NO!!! as humans we have to go and make everything even harder. We act as though we only want to give just waiting patiently for that moment when we would collect Oh! the Humanity! of it all. Anyway there are those like me that cant figure out what we want .... when I have the physical arrangement, i want the emotional .... when I have the emotional, I want the physical ... when I have both, I want the stressless arrangement.

But this will help you in Life i'm sure of it, just know what you want from every single relationship you go into, wheather it is parental, official etc. But most Importantly Know What You Can AFFORD To Give.

PS today Is not always better!

The streets...

2009-06-28T11:08:00.001-07:00

Okay I have this friend who is surprisingly more carefree than I am, and that is something I have come to realize is hard to be. But my blithe nature make me look like this guys supervisor at work. I'm constantly shocked by his indifference to the most crucial matters of his life. I and lets call him Krimboy have been on many adventures together.
He was born in Lagos but moved to Abuja when he was still quite young, I was born in Kano the Moved to Abj like almost a decade ago. So you can imagine two very buttery boys (i don't know how to spell butty or butt E always has a butt in it..) walking on the streets of somewhere downtown Lagos feeling ADVENTUROUS!!! Our school had open gates (No exeats needed) for about two days, which was rear. So I and "cream-boy" decided to take advantage of this very rear opportunity and bail. We did not have any exact destination, we almost finalizing our plans involving going to UI to see one of his old flames in sec school then it happened.
These two random guys were in an excited argument then they beckoned to us. I looked at krimboy skeptically .... and from his look, he shared my sentiments... we went closer to them. One of them explained to us that hes friend did not know how to play table tennis then asked if we knew how. By now the rude-boys had started playing the game again (let me just say, picture your average danfo conductor, that is exactly how these men looked) and rude-boy1 was trying fruitlessly to explain the rules of the game to rude-boy2. Rude-boy1 then absentmindedly handed his bat to cream-boy beckoning him to play while he went round the table to explained in more detail to Rude-boy2 how to play table tennis. Lest me say this with all modesty, cream-boy handed Rude-boy2's ass to him on the table. Then Rude-boy2 nodded with the understanding of someone who just figured out how points are gained and lost in table tennis. At this point i was like "cream-boy lets go he gets it now" or something. My boy had already started to turn away when Rude-boy1 calls us back and asks us to continue playing, he then brings out a hundred naira note and states clearly in fast paced Yoruba (That I seemed to understand, but not as much as krimboy did) that if krimboy could beat Rude-boy2 in a match that we could have it. Well we couldn't say no to that! My boy got a hundred naira easy, then we wanted to quit. The Rude-boyz faces became noticeably more determined as we were about to go then Rude-boy1 begged us to play again this time bringing out 500 naira I think. So krimboy picked up the bat, started playing, and this time I watched Rude-boy2's face and deciphered that the look on his face was that of a pro determined to look like an amateur. We both new these rugged conductor could beat the living daylight out of us......just thought I'd let you know. I think krimboy noticed the look too because, immediately he lost to this Rude-boy2 (who "Learned How To Play Table Tennis" in his front), we payed them 500 bucks, he looked at me and we both ignored Rude-boy1's pleas to come back and try to win it back.
What was funniest about that day was the fact that without discussing in we both headed back to school and decided it was not the right time to go on fun trips. Now What we agreed on was to keep the event between us, it was just embarrassing!..but yeah wathever!..

Damn My Phone!!! please let it be a prank

2009-06-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

I actually had alot to write about when I got back from work but all these yeye student don dey sharp. I doubt its a prank bcos actually working in a University I expected this to happen a long time ago(to someone else!), but you gotta have faith. Imagine coming into the bank and nabbing my phone and upon all the CCTV wey dey we no fit sight the thief.
This na some kind hustle sturvs... Anyway I have bought my tickets to Lagos to go for my guys convocation and was about to make some additional preparations. I went out to buy airtime got to the credit kiosk bought a lot for both my lines sat back in the car. I was already thinking of how i was going to ask Awana or our guy Sam to pick me from the airport (Awana was the safer bet!). I wanted to load the credit then i realized my phone was not with me. Then and there I started the prayer hoping that I left it in the bank, just had a bad feeling about this 1, drove back like a mad man, ransacked the whole place, harassed my co-worker hoping it was a prank, (I'm still hoping it is an all weekend prank to teach me to be more careful!) watched the playback of the CCTV for like 2hrs, then gave up. At a point after trying to call my phone a million time I actually wanted to send a PITY text begging whoever switched on my sim cards, by some miraculous inexplicable occurrence, to contact me or please send them to my office "I willing to reward".
But that wasn't going to happen, trust your average Naija bloke once E nab my phone like this...E go off am and my sims no go ever on for that phone again....two sims one phone that is just painful no contact backups. And have you ever tried to have a night out without a phone? it's like painting with your tongue, just plain wrong!. For this to happen this weekend it must mean that some higher power is instructing me to continue with my reclusive lifestyle and stop chasing the glamorous life like I did with the disaster club last weekend(Another story).
Anyway at least I've gotten rid of all those contacts I was too scared to delete, I can start Afresh. Damn all those numbers! P.S. Awana I hope you know this was a way of asking you to pick me up on the 19th at 11:30 am...lol

Why do good girls like bad guys???

2009-06-04T06:19:00.000-07:00

2nd June 2009
We were out having a couple of drinks, when we got talking. We were mostly bashing on our bosses in the office and anticipating different events that were to take place after our service year. The topics varied wildly and we eventually got to the one topic that was a prerequisite for our gathering, girls. They say even in a holy city, when 2/3 men are gathered together they will speak of women. My colleague told me about his brothers rule .... girls are to be treated badly.... and went further to illustrate various examples for me. He told me 2 or 3 stories about girls who his brother treated horribly but were still drawn towards his presence like moths to light bulbs. He explained that even though he was "bad" in comparison to some other people (I made sure he included my name in the list of good people), he was still amicable in his behavior towards the ladies. He expressed his sincere yearning to become more like his elder brother stating that his kindheartedness was his present inhibition.
I told him my own story which was shared to me by a friend of mine, Ted. it was the story of a chick who was attracted to a guy because he smoked (i don't get it either) and after a couple of years/months of dating she wanted him to quit.(???)
He also told me of the story of the girl that hardened his heart by breaking it while it was still soft, and how it led to his present unemotional/casual strings of relationships...... i could relate. I explained to him why I too have been on a vendetta and have been unable to commit emotionally to any relationship since. I aspire to be like him and eventually like his brother. Anyways it sounded like a really solid theory...so i brought it here for scrutiny.....do most chicks just like the idea of "REPAIRING" a man ....or do chicks just feel alive when their relationships hurt a bit???

After drinking a couple of bottles of stout I got home and lay on my bed thinking to myself "I'm fcUked and hungry maybe I should fry bread and eat egg". After the meal I started writing and at the end of the post I realized I don't have anyone following my blog, so who is going to comment? Damn....

Lets call her Violet!

2009-05-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

We are going to call her violet on account that the first syllable of her name is also a flower.
So today started out as every other Sunday, in the fact that I was postponing stuff I needed to do till Monday bcos I did not want to work at all, you know keeping the Sabbath day holy and all. Then I remembered how I was on a mission too make my life more interesting, so I called her remembering that she promised to call yesterday. She also promised to take me to her place and has been posting me for about a week or so. E be like sey she know once we I reach there it going to go down. Anyway i called at about 6 pm and she said she'll come over to my place at 8 I said "Ok see you then, bye". now I did not call at eight coz for some reason I had this idea she was going to cancel and I needed to.... uknow.... I was the only one at home today so I would be bored. So about 8:30 i called and she told me to meet at the small gate of her school I got there in 15 mins saw her and she gave me this cock and bull story of her friend being sick and her having to take food to her and all...I did not believe a thing she said ...maybe because I had been drinking. Anyway she had always been playing hard to get with me since I opened her second account for her. So I was not surprised when she escorted me halfway home, used the drizzling drops as an excuse to go and dodged all my intended kisses only a week after she voluntarily kissed me goodbye. She turned her back and walked away leaving me with a promise to answer my call whenever I beckoned the next day saying she needed to get going before the rain started and take care of her friend. I let her go ...
I got home settled down with another glass o f red wine. Now Violet is just the background story, basically this was the best part of my night... Now I've been tipsy before and I've watched the movie "just friends" before and if you haven't done anyone of those things you should try it (DRINK RESPONSIBLY AND DON'T DRIVE DRUNK PLS), But I have never done both at the same time. Now I would be selfish if i did not share this with you but SERIOUSLY I don't think I ever laughed as hard as I did tonight okay maybe I have but I can guarantee that I haven't laughed this hard in at least 2 years. After sharing this I just realized I have no one to actually SHARE this with so I'm going to holla at my home boy scribble...at least read your boy's blog once in a while, haba!
After watching the movie I tried calling another chick, which we will call Grey, I think she is really into me, (Dangerous, lets see what happens). She actually flashed me...and I tried calling her with both my lines and guess what Naija phone services Do it Again... ruined the rest of my night I just could not get through... I cant count how many uneventful nights they've caused me. Imagine two different carriers.. anyway enough lamentation the comedy was enough for tonight... lets see how tomorrow goes ehn?

E go be na? Your boy 9janeo

Lets call her Mira

2009-05-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

Okay lemme just say this first "If I ever get the chance to, I'll scrap NYSC." Its one year of your life you'll never get back. I started serving sometime in August and I have been miserable since... I thought this was going to be my funnest year but it really was not. So I decided to kick up some dust and working in a bank is the best place to start, not to mention the branch in question is in a university "sweet sumtins!". I had actually stopped flirting after I left school because i found that students in a particular school usually flow on the same frequency. In other words I was out of touch with the real world for a long time and hence could not communicate on the same level as most of the other corp members I met Xcpt those 4rm my skool.
Back to kicking some dust, I am s'posed to be a marketer but on extremely Hot day I stay in the bank premises and deliver customer service . So she walks in with her friend and I remember my colleague at the office having serious rapport with her friend Sandy on one of our business trips to their faculty. I also remembering saying sumfin like our bank was the best in customer satisfaction, she said you don't even have Tv in the hall, I said if that's the problem any time your in the bank come and i'll give you my phone. I'm going to get DSTV mobile bcos of you (i said this jokingly of course dstv Ke!). She said sure no prob.
Immediately Mira came in she walked straight to my table with Sandy following closely smiled and said where is my phone. Now I have a problem i have not told you guys about, I love it when a chick has well pronounced incisors (chipmunk style). She had the cutest chipmunk dentition I had seen, which made me love her smile, of course. I gave her the phone, she sat down with it transferring stuff, while sandy withdrew some money then went over to my colleagues desk and chatted with him 4 some time. When her friend was through she came over and handed the phone to me. I told her goodbye... that was when it really started.
I saw sandy some time after, walked up to her and asked her for her friends number after exchanging pleasantries, she gave me. Now I started thinking that Mira must have felt a connection that's why her friend gave me her number so easily, I used to have to give a very good explanation and beg b4 collecting a chicks number 4rm her friend.....hmm! Well there was no need for me to try and make Sandy feel better by collecting her own number, matter of fact that will only make her realize that I was trying to make her feel better and she'll feel bad, get it?. So i thanked her and walked away.
It was all uphill from there, things moved fast, dust started settling, a new chapter was created, ....and this turned into one of my most interesting stories in this little town I am serving my country from.

The day my life started ......again

2009-03-16T15:07:00.000-07:00

Like many people I was born on july 29th sometime in the nineties. I lived my life to what at the time I considered to be the fullest. I ignored certain indulgences thinking to myself "I dont need to know what that feels like, matter of fact I can live without that". I continued this way till sometime in 2004. I grew up in a unstable state, politically, religiously, generally. That day I woke up in a state of chaos that had been plunged into astate of pandemonium. There had been similar occurences but this one seemed to have me and everyone I knew in its centre. For the first time in a long time my family fled clinging to the solutions that provided the highest probability of preserving our lives. Anyway it was during this period refuge that I encounted an angel of indulgence......she taught me how to live fully.
On the 13th of July 2009 I woke up.....
It was like I had been Atlas, for about four years, and the heavens suddenly disapeared from my shoulders. The last date i remembered living fully was .........4th 0f 0ctober 2004. Now it seems those four years rushed by, but when i was living them they were as slow as a fish trying to run.
They over......i'm living again......i've been living for 6 months.....