Song of the week

Simon and Garfunkel : SOUND OF SILENCE

Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.


I fell in love with this song when I heard Used in the movie "Bobby"
It was also used in "The watchmen"

P.S I've just not gotten anything to write about ... yet.

Nocturnal!

I nicknamed myself nocturnal when I was my second year.
This was due to the fact I always slept during the day/ in class and was never asleep througout the night. The habit stuck! Up until to day i have to play soft rock and will myself to sleep by counting back from hundred in all the languages I know.
Anyways I didn't sleep well last night and I have a class in an hour and I think I'm going to mix coffee and red bull bcos even well rested that class is still a challenge for me!
Shout out to Leggy on her 5oth!!!

This thing is not easy for everybody so we should keep encouraging each other!
I cant talk too much i'm going to look for caffeine and sugar. L8er blogsville!

Guess who's Bizack!

Guess who is Bizzack
It's my boy Jack
We have not seen in a while
I missed him making me smile
He has been here all week
And its no more bleak
I went to pick him up on my Birthday
Damn this is sounding so gay
He made me laugh with our secret jokes
The already happy moments, he stokes
Okay I can no longer rhyme
Maybe just one more line

So my birthday was just there. I got liquor and cake, threw out a couple of late invites via text messages and waited. Most of my friends were in school working all night or out of the state. But she came ...She is kinda like a family friend but the last time we saw about three months ago we made out. So it was just me and her after finishing an average of 3 cans of smirnoff each dancing to Wande Coal. I gave her my incomplete fourth can to help me and she did.
Then she got a call, some dude was coming to pick her up, it was not my business so I did not ask, but from her reaction she did not seem too thrilled to go, then again what do I know. She stood up to go and asked if her breath smelled of alcohol. I don't know if that was a cue or it was me being over sharp but.... I said "I cant tell by using my nose but there is another method" then I slowly moved towards her. Me being the poster child for rejection, 90% of me was expecting her to push me away, 5% of me was expecting a slap .... but being the "Self Destructive" individual that Sir Scribbles II swears I am I went with my 5% chance of success. I don't know why I felt like this even though we had snogged b4 I guess deep down I was thinking "She is like way older than you so she probably just want to do this for today and it never going to happen again"... I'm a cynic like that!

Anyway we had the best goodnight/alcohol test kiss ever ... she seemed to be a little bit more carried away by it than I thought she'd be. I pulled away and said no traces of alcohol or at least it does not show. Three days later Jack and I are just chilling thinking of new ways to get on Robby Scribbles nerves when I get a call
She - Are you at home
*static* I hang up and call back
Me - U were saying
She - are you at home
Me- yep
She - i'm coming
Me - Kay l8er!
15 mins later knock knock
she spend the first thirty minute talking with my bro in his room then later comes to my room. We had a very interesting conversation ... cant remember what it was ... then Its On!.
Halfway into the session she asks
- how did we get here
reluctant I ask
Me - Where, The bed or the situation where we both like this!
I thought the questions would come later
She - the second one
Me - Don't know and really don't care right now
The session continues without anymore questions she must be saving them.

Anyways my friend Jack Daniels will be going away again for a while seeing as I am starting classes today and need to keep my head clear for most of the weekdays in the next 6 weeks.

Ps. Chari was right about that randomizing ish...

Whats the point.

He had felt this way before, lying face down not trying to fight the quiet tears running down his face. In this state he thought a lot about the fucked up world he lived in. He knew there were happier people in the world that had less than half of what he could boast of .... this made him feel worse... a tinge of guilt that he was wallowing when he had so much to be happy about. But he had no Idea how people could ignore the messed up conundrum that is their life.
He had so much he wanted to do, he had failed in so many things and ways. Even if he succeeded it will all come to a grinding halt with his imminent demise. Aware that there are times that the world is a happy place and maybe it is worth living for these times he still lay there shedding these tears not entirely for himself but also for those suffering souls living somewhere in a gutter of utter insignificance and nothingness the rest of the world passing by in make believe obliviousness. How can they just prosper ignoring and many times causing rifts of misery to wash over those less capable.
FINE they worked to achieve their present status ... it does not make it right. His face leaked because most in the position to change the situation didn't they just gave a little to feel less guilty that they had so much. He knew it would not change, he was always destined to succeed, he knew he would become one of them when he achieved destiny. And now his consideration of those suffering souls out there in the world made him realize that when he is happy he is happy for himself only. When he wants to end it all he is being entirely selfish in his decision.
Of course still crying he realised this world is fucked up because he does not give a shit about it and it does not give a shit about him. This is what drives us to achieve so moch against all odds, but we end up celebrating alone like we were from the start. What made him fall deeper into this blackhole he formed around himself was the fact that he'd always be too much of acoward to do anything, wether end it or change it. His life, this life was fucked, he wiped his tears away and feigned ignorance to carry on, just like everyone else.


Extract from Slip Out The Back - Fort Minor
I don't need to tell you that life isn't fair
it doesn't care
It arbitrarily cuts off your air
And like you
I want someone to say its okay.....

Nothing matters

So you can probably tell from my blogs that almost nothing has been going on in my life recently.
I AM BROKE, RUINED, BANKRUPT, PENNILESS, OVERDRAWN. I felt 1 word won't explain the magnanimity of the situation.
I stopped working about a month ago around the time I last took alcohol or got laid.
I have been mostly indoors.
I registered for classes due to start on the 3rd of next month
My birthday is on the 29th of this month.
I lost my replacement phone last week.
I haven't been called for a job after my phone interview.
And I hate the world again.
I am back to my Hard rock and Metal phase, all this happy music is not working for me right now.
I am thinking removing all colour from my wardrobe and buying everything in black.
And in an effort to stir things up in my life again I decided to get in touch with an old lady friend I have not seen for over 2 years and arrange a meeting today. Now I cant sleep because I'm hoping it goes well and everything clicks like when she was in school. Come to think of it I always liked her and I cant help but think if she had stayed in my school I would not have ended up in the crappiest relationship of my life.
And no matter how tomorrow ends .... I tried.

P.s I miss inebriation.

Nothing matters

So you can probably tell from my blogs that almost nothing has been going on in my life recently.
I AM BROKE, RUINED, BANKRUPT, PENNILESS, OVERDRAWN. I felt 1 word won't explain the magnanimity of the situation.
I stopped working about a month ago around the time I last took alcohol or got laid.
I have been mostly indoors.
I registered for classes due to start on the 3rd of next month
My birthday is on the 29th of this month.
I lost my replacement phone last week.
I haven't been called for a job after my phone interview.
And I hate the world again.
I am back to my Hard rock and Metal phase, all this happy music is not working for me right now.
I am thinking removing all colour from my wardrobe and buying everything in black.
And in an effort to stir things up in my life again I decided to get in touch with an old lady friend I have not seen for over 2 years and arrange a meeting today. Now I cant sleep because I'm hoping it goes well and everything clicks like when she was in school. Come to think of it I always liked her and I cant help but think if she had stayed in my school I would not have ended up in the crappiest relationship of my life.
And no matter how tomorrow ends .... I tried.

P.s I miss inebriation.

We all travelled in the same car to the state capital, conversating about insubstantial meaningless topics, to collect our NYSC certificates. We got there, I had no trouble receiving mine with an epiphany.
I realised at that instance that I had built, in this 1 year period platonic relationships disgused as comradery, we all did.
I watched these benefficial relationships crumble into the nothings we had tried to portray as deep reaching emotionally
driven friendships. As we said our goodbyes I knew, that we would probably never meet again and we would definitely not try to keep in touch. But you never know right its a small world.
But I guess thats just what relationships are ... its all about what we can get and people have different need.Believe me when I say some people just want to give, some just want to take, some want to be adored, some maybe all human beings want to be loved and some want to be hated.
Yeah maybe those that want to be hated want it because of the attention that comes with it .... have you ever been in a close space with an enemy? you cant keep ur eyes off each other.LOL.
Maybe those that want to be adored need it to reassure themselves of their beauty or whateva.
Maybe those that give endlessly just feel they have too much to give and maybe they actually like seeing people happy!
I'm pretty sure i'm getting this analysis wrong and I would not mind somebody bringing these issues to light for me, I think I'm an emotional infant.
But what I'm sure of is that there is something to be gained/lost in every relationship ... even sometimes when you dont get to give as much as you want, it hurts. thank heavens i've never been the giving type. But in light of this revelation I posit that the best relationships are those in which all parties know what they want to get and have something to offer in return. It is not always easy to know what you want but in those rear ocassions when you do, it would be so easy to walk up to some1 and say "I know you want ...., I want **** and I can give you .... lets hook up!". BUT NO!!! as humans we have to go and make everything even harder. We act as though we only want to give just waiting patiently for that moment when we would collect Oh! the Humanity! of it all. Anyway there are those like me that cant figure out what we want .... when I have the physical arrangement, i want the emotional .... when I have the emotional, I want the physical ... when I have both, I want the stressless arrangement.

But this will help you in Life i'm sure of it, just know what you want from every single relationship you go into, wheather it is parental, official etc. But most Importantly Know What You Can AFFORD To Give.

PS today Is not always better!