The Grinch that rocked christmas... and new year!.

Okay first of all lemme just say that Avatar was the shigaedee!
I enjoyed every bit of the movie from top to bottom!
At the end of the movie, just before the credits my brother got a text from my mum telling him our aunt, her elder sister just died. I'm in a really sucky mood right now ... this was not the way I planned to meet my cousins anytime soon ... in a burial! I feel like locking myself up in a black box and listening to very heavy death metal music ... but that won't solve anything. I've always had issues with death ... as in when I was still very young it was a foreign concept to me, death, but as I kept growing older it kept growing closer. Look at me already delving into the intricacies of anti-life.



So Christmas and new year has sucked the last seven years or so for me. I don't even remember any of them ... its that bad. Anyways I'm tired of sucky holiday so I am going to rocks this one die! We are supposed to spend at least Christmas with the whole family present. And my parents like going to "remote" places to spend their holidays. So if it is as bad as I anticipate this year, I will just go out buy some liquor, come back home and watch "Just friends" and "I love you man" over and over again!


Next year ba!?! I am going celibate walahi! Women, I no do again... I'm chasing money and book... strictly. I have like ten certifications on my mind and I should do at least three before my birthday next year in July! So face book and money ... the way it is supposed to be.

So even though this looks to be an "Unchristmassy Christmas" in NEO's words and I feel like a Grinch with very strong urges to introduce santa's beard to a shotgun, I am still going to rock these times. You might hear my tale ... the tale of the Grinch that rocked Christmas.

So people make sure you have a very happy new year!

Something has happened

A friend of mine came to stay with me from Lagos and brought with him the las-gidi ginger.
He didn't even have to persuade me too much. All he had to do was say Choc-city, M.I, Kevin Pam, Chicks.... and I was already dressing up.
We went to the Aqua place in Sheraton after our rendezvous with two of our guys.
Now some advice from me ... when you consider yourself an average dancer, don't go to a party with three very good dancers, they will SHAME you.
So I danced for a while, drank very little compared to the quantity I average on my night outings.
Then met one fine chick with cute rabbit teeth ... I harassed her and gave her my number ... I didn't collect her own because If I had brought out my phone, She would have broken it off with me before any thing started.
So what happened yesterday? I Had fun ... and finally decided to get a new phone again.

ps. I am attempting to blog more... hence the empty post!

Just So you Know!

I'm alive and well ...thanks for asking.
Have not been in the happy mood.
I have not written any post because I am trying not to write sad, seemingly depressing posts anymore.
Not many exciting things have happened to me lately.
Passed the exam I was reading for.
Chased women for a while.
And for the first time I actually discerned when a girl was asking me out. Well to be honest she was more forward with me than I have ever been with any girl I had an interest in.
I just was never able to pick up on small cues of interest (verbal or even physical) being dropped by interested ladies. They have to be overt flirts.
In fact I almost always realize when its too late. Months after it will just hit me "Oh! so she liked me ?".

I was thinking of going public, because many where going private, but I certainly convinced myself otherwise ... on account of all the relationships I mentioned in my blog that are so loosely coded ... and all the horrible gruesome deaths that could be inflicted on me by participants in said relations.

P.s. If you know who I am please keep quiet! Nobody likes a tattletale. JUST SO YOU KNOW!

I Woke Up!!!

I woke up, it was dark, I saw him staring back at me with murderous intent.
I took a step towards him
At this point I am staring directly into enraged dark eyes
Eyes owned by an eidolon of my other self
I could feel it, the rage the anger the hatred
Confused by his aura, I asked him "why are you so angry?"

He glared back and all he said was "you had no right!!!"
I needed an explanation and decided to use his emotions to get it.
I smiled and with an mild voice I said "of course I did, I had every right"
It worked. He exploded "What do you mean!!! I was almost done, you were all mine, you had almost given up!!!"
He took a deep breath then said "you know we are going to keep trying right!?!, and one day one of us will get you."

"What do you mean???"

"well, you managed to push me out just before I did my job, but it does not matter because even though you have almost total control right now, some of my friends are still in there trying, and many are out here looking for a way in! and we wont stop trying!!"

He moved his dark form ever so slightly to the right and behind him I saw a row of dark specters much like himself stretch beyond my view.
He raised his chin in a quick gesture, making me aware of someone behind me, making me spin to face another silhouette smiling at me.



"He is right you know!?!"
I don't know why but his smile disturbed me, there were a thousand 'more important' questions in my mind but I still I asked "what are you smiling for"
The smile changed to a dark laugh then he said
"I'm Pride!!!" "I always smile ... unlike our friend there" he pointed, I didn't have to turn around to know who he was pointing at.
"Excuse his rudeness, he is just tired of the tango ... you see both of you have fought for control since the beginning and apparently you fight him more than the rest of us because you consider him your worst enemy...He is depression"

"What does he want, what do YOU want?"

"We want to give you character! right now you are pure, unmodified, without us you'll be so ordinary.... we give you personality, Character ... without us you are nothing". He started to laugh the same dark laugh as before. Then he seemingly shifted.

I could see behind him the same unending queue of dark specters. This time I knew they were qualities and then I remembered what depression said: "some of my friends are still in there trying". Some I had, some I didn't .... some were disposable, some were attainable.
The conceited laughter filled my head.

I WOKE UP!

I'm on A long thing!

Omo I've been away from blogsville so long its like I'm an immigrant. Lemme sha say sorry make una no vex I've been on along thing. Some kinda self reformation to reduce my indifference and increase my attention span. In fact the truth is I get tired of everything all the time. So this post is basucally just to keep my blog warm.


As a big brother we all know it is my job to description to bug my sis ... and I usually find the weirdest ways to do it.
Recently I got this open wound in the middle of my left palm (self inflicted, dont ask) and I had to wash using bleach then a thought hit me. I walked directly to my sister who was watching TV, looked at her with a candid face and asked her very seriously ....
.... what do you think will happen to me if bleach gets into my bloodstream?, without waiting for her to answer I asked again this time with a worried face ... What if I become invisible!!! Serious! stop laughing What If it decolourises me then I become grayscale or worse Colourless!!!.

Later that day I was helping my dad in his fish farm then it came again! I ran back to my sister again I had to share this revelation quick.
I called her attention, she paid it. With a very franctic look on my face I asked
What happens if fish food gets into my bloodstream?
Gettout!!!! Leave me alone
Seriously it is not a joking matter! What if fish all of a sudden get drawn towards me or I find out I can communicate with Aquaculture because I'm in sync with their base survival instict "the need for food"
It is like you don't have anything to do better stop disturbing me!

Then I talk to myself.... you know the type when your inner self talks to you and you listen/talkback ... well not only that kind. Also the kind of self talk where two or more voices are talking about two or more things in your head and you are stuck hearing the noise like cafeteria chatter! You know .... common admit it .... ur leaving me out here to dry [akward laugh...]

Okay this day I was walking to the supermarket when this conversation started
Damn it I don't feel like walking
Lookachyoo!!! If you had gottten your liscence since would you be walking now?
Idiot would you shut up even with my liscence would you r fear let me drive in this mad town?
Lazy maga! you want to blame it on me now ba?
Would two of you shut up I'm trying to focus on avoiding this guy walking behind me he looks shifty
paranoid motherfucker!
MYFRIEND!!! berra get your shit together
Shut up!!! ah ah [out loud] while shaking my head
I could swear I still heard some disapproving mumurs in my head before it went silent.
Then the shifty guy walking behind me crossed to the otherside of the road!

Once again my dear Blogaria abeg no vex!!! I'm still on a long thing. It will take a while but ... I'll be back!!
ps had malaria a while back.
Your boy 9janeo.

The Edge Of Norm

Recently life had been bumping him around
He had fought but kept getting knocked down
he did some soul searching. He found nothing but a gray bordering on blackness - a colorless soul. He realized he made himself this way pushing everyone away so frequently it had become basic instinct. The only reason he was not completely black inside was because he still related with human beings, the most basic superficial beneficial relationships possible.

People-relations meant emotions, emotions were a distraction, when distracted he found himself fighting, struggling with 99% of the worlds population. That's the reason he learnt to stand at the edge of norm. Because only here at the brink of unconventionality will you notice
how absurd the norm actually is
how the morally derelict exile the physically derelict
how the morally wealthy worship the physically wealthy

He remembered why he lived at the border of expected function, why he stood at quietly watching. Watching the crowd move haphazardly around the center that was the utopia it was so desperately seeking. He stood outside these circles they formed to gradually gain the virtues and vices he needed to cut through them and surpass them all.


That is why he does it, when he is there the perspective is good. From that vantage point he can see all the "surprises" he needs to prepare for. He stood up dusted himself off, cut all emotional ties he recently formed with these ... people, and walked quietly to the edge of norm.

The Grading System!

Well I'm going to explain in this post how I grade chicks.
I know somebody will start feeling deep and talk about how we are all equal and BS, but the truth is we all do it. That's what first impressions are .... and many times you have been wrong with your 1st impressions of somebody.
We see someone, we size the person up. Its nothing personal. It guides us towards who we unconsciously think is better for us.

Points
Long hair .... 0.5
Almond/cat/fish shaped eyes ... 0.5
Older (as in >5yrs) ... 1 point
Drink .... 1 point
Like rock/Eminem ... 1 point
like black ... 1 point
Play (video)games .... 1point
Likes superheroes(or can hold a conversation about them) .... 1 point
Can sing ... 1 point
Can Skate ... 1 point
Can play the guitar ... 2 points
Gymnast ... 2 points
Namesake (If you by any chance have one of my nicknames) ... 2 points
Hates Miley Cyrus ... 2 points
Snooty ... -2 points
Dumb .... -2
Lacking humor(or a sense of it) ... -2.5

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN! Where a ten is unattainable unless your a greek goddess or from the Marvel/DC universe
In groups Everybody starts as a 5, then I give points as time flies.
When I'm bored or tired of chicks around me new ones start at a nine then I deduct points.
I still dont know all the reasons I add or deduct points but if I knew that then there I would know exactly who I want ... that's no fun!

Now that you know I'm such a Geek you are probably thinking this is shallow right!?! But we all are. Everybody has their own kind of grading system consciously/unconsciously.