Recently life had been bumping him around
He had fought but kept getting knocked down
he did some soul searching. He found nothing but a gray bordering on blackness - a colorless soul. He realized he made himself this way pushing everyone away so frequently it had become basic instinct. The only reason he was not completely black inside was because he still related with human beings, the most basic superficial beneficial relationships possible.
People-relations meant emotions, emotions were a distraction, when distracted he found himself fighting, struggling with 99% of the worlds population. That's the reason he learnt to stand at the edge of norm. Because only here at the brink of unconventionality will you notice
how absurd the norm actually is
how the morally derelict exile the physically derelict
how the morally wealthy worship the physically wealthy
He remembered why he lived at the border of expected function, why he stood at quietly watching. Watching the crowd move haphazardly around the center that was the utopia it was so desperately seeking. He stood outside these circles they formed to gradually gain the virtues and vices he needed to cut through them and surpass them all.
That is why he does it, when he is there the perspective is good. From that vantage point he can see all the "surprises" he needs to prepare for. He stood up dusted himself off, cut all emotional ties he recently formed with these ... people, and walked quietly to the edge of norm.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The Grading System!
Well I'm going to explain in this post how I grade chicks.
I know somebody will start feeling deep and talk about how we are all equal and BS, but the truth is we all do it. That's what first impressions are .... and many times you have been wrong with your 1st impressions of somebody.
We see someone, we size the person up. Its nothing personal. It guides us towards who we unconsciously think is better for us.
Points
Long hair .... 0.5
Almond/cat/fish shaped eyes ... 0.5
Older (as in >5yrs) ... 1 point
Drink .... 1 point
Like rock/Eminem ... 1 point
like black ... 1 point
Play (video)games .... 1point
Likes superheroes(or can hold a conversation about them) .... 1 point
Can sing ... 1 point
Can Skate ... 1 point
Can play the guitar ... 2 points
Gymnast ... 2 points
Namesake (If you by any chance have one of my nicknames) ... 2 points
Hates Miley Cyrus ... 2 points
Snooty ... -2 points
Dumb .... -2
Lacking humor(or a sense of it) ... -2.5
ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN! Where a ten is unattainable unless your a greek goddess or from the Marvel/DC universe
In groups Everybody starts as a 5, then I give points as time flies.
When I'm bored or tired of chicks around me new ones start at a nine then I deduct points.
I still dont know all the reasons I add or deduct points but if I knew that then there I would know exactly who I want ... that's no fun!
Now that you know I'm such a Geek you are probably thinking this is shallow right!?! But we all are. Everybody has their own kind of grading system consciously/unconsciously.
I know somebody will start feeling deep and talk about how we are all equal and BS, but the truth is we all do it. That's what first impressions are .... and many times you have been wrong with your 1st impressions of somebody.
We see someone, we size the person up. Its nothing personal. It guides us towards who we unconsciously think is better for us.
Points
Long hair .... 0.5
Almond/cat/fish shaped eyes ... 0.5
Older (as in >5yrs) ... 1 point
Drink .... 1 point
Like rock/Eminem ... 1 point
like black ... 1 point
Play (video)games .... 1point
Likes superheroes(or can hold a conversation about them) .... 1 point
Can sing ... 1 point
Can Skate ... 1 point
Can play the guitar ... 2 points
Gymnast ... 2 points
Namesake (If you by any chance have one of my nicknames) ... 2 points
Hates Miley Cyrus ... 2 points
Snooty ... -2 points
Dumb .... -2
Lacking humor(or a sense of it) ... -2.5
ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN! Where a ten is unattainable unless your a greek goddess or from the Marvel/DC universe
In groups Everybody starts as a 5, then I give points as time flies.
When I'm bored or tired of chicks around me new ones start at a nine then I deduct points.
I still dont know all the reasons I add or deduct points but if I knew that then there I would know exactly who I want ... that's no fun!
Now that you know I'm such a Geek you are probably thinking this is shallow right!?! But we all are. Everybody has their own kind of grading system consciously/unconsciously.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
He has Killed me oh!
Maybe they want to die! Somebody wants to die!
Oboy I know I just appointed it my song of the week but FCUK the sound of silence, This is my song of the month!
Now usually I'm off "getting" the new slipknot song or metallica's new album or something like that but I stumbled on M.I's Somebody wants to die. And walahi he killed me.
I will never crash I'm no Sosoliso!
WTF!
Okay So I remember going to see one of my graphic designer friends about two weeks ago for us to work on my new complimentary cards. It turned out that he was having a small shindig happenning, drinks music his friends.
The only way you're cold is your career's a kedava
He had about 14 guys over, I was already familiar with 3 of them, 2 same school, 1 I had met before. Then there was this group of chicks, they formed a little gist group, I was busy with the Xbox all this while. I left the game alone to get my glass some more drink .wink. Then there she was, [.insert heavenly song here.] Playing halo3.
I'm a plane I'm a rocket I'm an eagle
And its plane how I rock the deasert Eagle
Now lets get this clear being a shy guy I noticed her more than the others and immediately bumped her one point above the others. And the way to a geek's heart (mine) is through a game console. I move in and tell her to take cover till her energy sheild rises back up. She does it, she was new to Halo but not to the xbox controls. I ask her wether she plays, she says "Yeah, dont you have GTA" I say no, then bump her up another point.(9janeo's grading system!)
I'm so Rick Ross, I boss like Hugo
When I was bout to leave I walked up and asked her name she told me, then I asked for a number. I told her that I wudnt mind getting together with her to game sometime and that I thought she was awesome. She smiled (it was a bit cocky) and said "I don't have a phone, but put your number in my friends phone" pointing to the chick. At this point the geek in me quickly retreated sensing rejection. I turned to her friend and asked boldly and with authority streching out my hand "where is your phone?". Her friend immediately went into defensive mode and started talking in part to me in part to her "but ". "she's going back"."ur'e going back" gibberish gibberish. I immediately tagged her a Big Itch! I was not ready to sratch!
Looked at gamer chick took out my old workplace complimentary card and gave it to her. "Call me" I said with a smile. As a marketer I learned this persistence and never to take NO for an answer better to have a maybe.
I got that new flo!
I'm like a blue fro!
I'm on your mind but so unusual You know
Rationality slapped me immediately I stepped out of the house. What is wrong with you!. Can't you game with a chick without jumpng on her!?!. Why did you even talk to them SIHT!?! You will be made fool of! You will look like a real asshole! Is she even up to 18? FCUK up!
They standing way too close these niggers Homo
Then like two weeks later I get one missed call from a number. This number is so weird I immediately think the number is from cotonou seriously. I call
Helloooo!
ehm...
Yeah!?! (At this point i'm thinking, well you should explain yourself)
Ehm you gave me your card
Gamer girl!
yep gamer girl
whats up now?
cool
what are you up to
Nothing i'm on a break, its boring sha but I have to read
Read for what
well something very important
well nowadays everybody has to read, i'm reading too, we all are.
.........
Okay i'd holla at you later na!
Alright bye.
So obviously she was bored and found my card. Or maybe she just got her new phone because the number was weird. It was one of those new MTN numbers 081.... I could have sworn it was from another country. And yes I don't know what is happening in the world I've been in my shell.
Maybe i'm overthinking it. What do you think
ps M.I Abaga is the man. Just so you know!
red : me
blue : gamer chick
Green : M.I
I tried to censor!
Oboy I know I just appointed it my song of the week but FCUK the sound of silence, This is my song of the month!
Now usually I'm off "getting" the new slipknot song or metallica's new album or something like that but I stumbled on M.I's Somebody wants to die. And walahi he killed me.
I will never crash I'm no Sosoliso!
WTF!
Okay So I remember going to see one of my graphic designer friends about two weeks ago for us to work on my new complimentary cards. It turned out that he was having a small shindig happenning, drinks music his friends.
The only way you're cold is your career's a kedava
He had about 14 guys over, I was already familiar with 3 of them, 2 same school, 1 I had met before. Then there was this group of chicks, they formed a little gist group, I was busy with the Xbox all this while. I left the game alone to get my glass some more drink .wink. Then there she was, [.insert heavenly song here.] Playing halo3.
I'm a plane I'm a rocket I'm an eagle
And its plane how I rock the deasert Eagle
Now lets get this clear being a shy guy I noticed her more than the others and immediately bumped her one point above the others. And the way to a geek's heart (mine) is through a game console. I move in and tell her to take cover till her energy sheild rises back up. She does it, she was new to Halo but not to the xbox controls. I ask her wether she plays, she says "Yeah, dont you have GTA" I say no, then bump her up another point.(9janeo's grading system!)
I'm so Rick Ross, I boss like Hugo
When I was bout to leave I walked up and asked her name she told me, then I asked for a number. I told her that I wudnt mind getting together with her to game sometime and that I thought she was awesome. She smiled (it was a bit cocky) and said "I don't have a phone, but put your number in my friends phone" pointing to the chick. At this point the geek in me quickly retreated sensing rejection. I turned to her friend and asked boldly and with authority streching out my hand "where is your phone?". Her friend immediately went into defensive mode and started talking in part to me in part to her "but ". "she's going back"."ur'e going back" gibberish gibberish. I immediately tagged her a Big Itch! I was not ready to sratch!
Looked at gamer chick took out my old workplace complimentary card and gave it to her. "Call me" I said with a smile. As a marketer I learned this persistence and never to take NO for an answer better to have a maybe.
I got that new flo!
I'm like a blue fro!
I'm on your mind but so unusual You know
Rationality slapped me immediately I stepped out of the house. What is wrong with you!. Can't you game with a chick without jumpng on her!?!. Why did you even talk to them SIHT!?! You will be made fool of! You will look like a real asshole! Is she even up to 18? FCUK up!
They standing way too close these niggers Homo
Then like two weeks later I get one missed call from a number. This number is so weird I immediately think the number is from cotonou seriously. I call
Helloooo!
ehm...
Yeah!?! (At this point i'm thinking, well you should explain yourself)
Ehm you gave me your card
Gamer girl!
yep gamer girl
whats up now?
cool
what are you up to
Nothing i'm on a break, its boring sha but I have to read
Read for what
well something very important
well nowadays everybody has to read, i'm reading too, we all are.
.........
Okay i'd holla at you later na!
Alright bye.
So obviously she was bored and found my card. Or maybe she just got her new phone because the number was weird. It was one of those new MTN numbers 081.... I could have sworn it was from another country. And yes I don't know what is happening in the world I've been in my shell.
Maybe i'm overthinking it. What do you think
ps M.I Abaga is the man. Just so you know!
red : me
blue : gamer chick
Green : M.I
I tried to censor!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Song of the week
Simon and Garfunkel : SOUND OF SILENCE
Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.
I fell in love with this song when I heard Used in the movie "Bobby"
It was also used in "The watchmen"
P.S I've just not gotten anything to write about ... yet.
Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.
I fell in love with this song when I heard Used in the movie "Bobby"
It was also used in "The watchmen"
P.S I've just not gotten anything to write about ... yet.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Nocturnal!
I nicknamed myself nocturnal when I was my second year.
This was due to the fact I always slept during the day/ in class and was never asleep througout the night. The habit stuck! Up until to day i have to play soft rock and will myself to sleep by counting back from hundred in all the languages I know.
Anyways I didn't sleep well last night and I have a class in an hour and I think I'm going to mix coffee and red bull bcos even well rested that class is still a challenge for me!
Shout out to Leggy on her 5oth!!!
This thing is not easy for everybody so we should keep encouraging each other!
I cant talk too much i'm going to look for caffeine and sugar. L8er blogsville!
This was due to the fact I always slept during the day/ in class and was never asleep througout the night. The habit stuck! Up until to day i have to play soft rock and will myself to sleep by counting back from hundred in all the languages I know.
Anyways I didn't sleep well last night and I have a class in an hour and I think I'm going to mix coffee and red bull bcos even well rested that class is still a challenge for me!
Shout out to Leggy on her 5oth!!!
This thing is not easy for everybody so we should keep encouraging each other!
I cant talk too much i'm going to look for caffeine and sugar. L8er blogsville!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Guess who's Bizack!
Guess who is Bizzack
It's my boy Jack
We have not seen in a while
I missed him making me smile
He has been here all week
And its no more bleak
I went to pick him up on my Birthday
Damn this is sounding so gay
He made me laugh with our secret jokes
The already happy moments, he stokes
Okay I can no longer rhyme
Maybe just one more line
So my birthday was just there. I got liquor and cake, threw out a couple of late invites via text messages and waited. Most of my friends were in school working all night or out of the state. But she came ...She is kinda like a family friend but the last time we saw about three months ago we made out. So it was just me and her after finishing an average of 3 cans of smirnoff each dancing to Wande Coal. I gave her my incomplete fourth can to help me and she did.
Then she got a call, some dude was coming to pick her up, it was not my business so I did not ask, but from her reaction she did not seem too thrilled to go, then again what do I know. She stood up to go and asked if her breath smelled of alcohol. I don't know if that was a cue or it was me being over sharp but.... I said "I cant tell by using my nose but there is another method" then I slowly moved towards her. Me being the poster child for rejection, 90% of me was expecting her to push me away, 5% of me was expecting a slap .... but being the "Self Destructive" individual that Sir Scribbles II swears I am I went with my 5% chance of success. I don't know why I felt like this even though we had snogged b4 I guess deep down I was thinking "She is like way older than you so she probably just want to do this for today and it never going to happen again"... I'm a cynic like that!
Anyway we had the best goodnight/alcohol test kiss ever ... she seemed to be a little bit more carried away by it than I thought she'd be. I pulled away and said no traces of alcohol or at least it does not show. Three days later Jack and I are just chilling thinking of new ways to get on Robby Scribbles nerves when I get a call
She - Are you at home
*static* I hang up and call back
Me - U were saying
She - are you at home
Me- yep
She - i'm coming
Me - Kay l8er!
15 mins later knock knock
she spend the first thirty minute talking with my bro in his room then later comes to my room. We had a very interesting conversation ... cant remember what it was ... then Its On!.
Halfway into the session she asks
- how did we get here
reluctant I ask
Me - Where, The bed or the situation where we both like this!
I thought the questions would come later
She - the second one
Me - Don't know and really don't care right now
The session continues without anymore questions she must be saving them.
Anyways my friend Jack Daniels will be going away again for a while seeing as I am starting classes today and need to keep my head clear for most of the weekdays in the next 6 weeks.
Ps. Chari was right about that randomizing ish...
It's my boy Jack
We have not seen in a while
I missed him making me smile
He has been here all week
And its no more bleak
I went to pick him up on my Birthday
Damn this is sounding so gay
He made me laugh with our secret jokes
The already happy moments, he stokes
Okay I can no longer rhyme
Maybe just one more line
So my birthday was just there. I got liquor and cake, threw out a couple of late invites via text messages and waited. Most of my friends were in school working all night or out of the state. But she came ...She is kinda like a family friend but the last time we saw about three months ago we made out. So it was just me and her after finishing an average of 3 cans of smirnoff each dancing to Wande Coal. I gave her my incomplete fourth can to help me and she did.
Then she got a call, some dude was coming to pick her up, it was not my business so I did not ask, but from her reaction she did not seem too thrilled to go, then again what do I know. She stood up to go and asked if her breath smelled of alcohol. I don't know if that was a cue or it was me being over sharp but.... I said "I cant tell by using my nose but there is another method" then I slowly moved towards her. Me being the poster child for rejection, 90% of me was expecting her to push me away, 5% of me was expecting a slap .... but being the "Self Destructive" individual that Sir Scribbles II swears I am I went with my 5% chance of success. I don't know why I felt like this even though we had snogged b4 I guess deep down I was thinking "She is like way older than you so she probably just want to do this for today and it never going to happen again"... I'm a cynic like that!
Anyway we had the best goodnight/alcohol test kiss ever ... she seemed to be a little bit more carried away by it than I thought she'd be. I pulled away and said no traces of alcohol or at least it does not show. Three days later Jack and I are just chilling thinking of new ways to get on Robby Scribbles nerves when I get a call
She - Are you at home
*static* I hang up and call back
Me - U were saying
She - are you at home
Me- yep
She - i'm coming
Me - Kay l8er!
15 mins later knock knock
she spend the first thirty minute talking with my bro in his room then later comes to my room. We had a very interesting conversation ... cant remember what it was ... then Its On!.
Halfway into the session she asks
- how did we get here
reluctant I ask
Me - Where, The bed or the situation where we both like this!
I thought the questions would come later
She - the second one
Me - Don't know and really don't care right now
The session continues without anymore questions she must be saving them.
Anyways my friend Jack Daniels will be going away again for a while seeing as I am starting classes today and need to keep my head clear for most of the weekdays in the next 6 weeks.
Ps. Chari was right about that randomizing ish...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)